I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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