you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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