I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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