I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
