if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i've created a new STD.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize