Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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