I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How external is "for external use only"?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize