i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize