i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
