yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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