Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
