I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
