I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
