my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize