Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so explain again why im purple
no
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
