theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize