3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
