i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
