Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just saw a hot homeless man
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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