So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
A bitchslap is in order.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
