Someone shit on the floor
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
