You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
