i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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