dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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