I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She's the barista slut.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
