STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
