I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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