Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize