We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Pants are for mortals
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
