New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
