Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
