drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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