The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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