i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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