You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize