I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
