how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
