I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
