I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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