So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize