I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize