Do vagina's smell?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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