found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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