i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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