my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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