i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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