Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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