looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
