we have pet lesbian snakes
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize