ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
