at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
