I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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