so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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