redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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