i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
