Sorry, I don't speak sober.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
