i would punch a child for taco bell
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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