I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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