we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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