Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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