Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
