so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
