It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
