I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
