her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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