I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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