one might say we're banned from that church
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
