That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
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