i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
