Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
