Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
